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Voting Question: What do you think of my story?

As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.” As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know. The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, the tall man’s back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry he was regretfully grasping onto. He didn’t move. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed innocently, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up. A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name. He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the tall man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them. When they had made their way down towards traffic, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and everything I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged. Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside. Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me; and my heels created the faintest echo full of emptiness and glowing shallowness. I tightly crossed my arms over my chest holding together either side of my trench. It wasn’t a long walk home of crossing abandon back roads and parking lots, silent and lonely, to find my roommate sprawled across the couch, the TV loud, an empty bag of potato chips on her chest. where the stars are it's meant to say "turned". can u think of a better word?  more

Voting Question: Please read my story and let me know what you think...?

1 As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.” As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know. The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, his back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry he was regretfully grasping onto. He didn’t move, but it may have been out of shock. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed innocently, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up. A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name. He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the other man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them. When the front glass doors were shut and those creeps were gone, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and thing I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged. Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside. Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me; and my heels created the faintest echo full of emptiness and glowing shallowness. I tightly crossed my arms over my chest holding together either side of my trench. It wasn’t a long walk home of crossing abandon back roads and parking lots, silent and lonely, to find my roommate sprawled across the couch, the TV loud, an empty bag of potato chips on her chest. She sprouted up when she heard the door swing open. Her hair was a mess of tangles and knots,  more

Resolved Question: What do you think of my story so far? Editing would help too!?

1 As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.” As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know. The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, his back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry he was regretfully grasping onto. He didn’t move, but it may have been out of shock. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed innocently, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up. A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name. He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the other man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them. When the front glass doors were shut and those creeps were gone, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and thing I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged. Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside. Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me; and my heels created the faintest echo full of emptiness and glowing shallowness. I tightly crossed my arms over my chest holding together either side of my trench. It wasn’t a long walk home of crossing abandon back roads and parking lots, silent and lonely, to find my roommate sprawled across the couch, the TV loud, an empty bag of potato chips on her chest. She sprouted up when she heard the door swing open. Her hair was a mess of tangles and knots,  more

Resolved Question: What do you think of my story? I still need to edit, so you can help with that to!?

1 As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.” As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know. The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, his back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry in his hands. He didn’t move, but it may have been out of shock. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up. A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name. He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the other man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them. When the front glass doors were shut and those creeps were gone, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and thing I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged. Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside. Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me. My footsteps were faint, the only things lighting the sidewalk were cheap streetlights.  more

Resolved Question: Any advice on this story?

I'm writing a, well, i guess you could say a book. And advice is welcome! =) “No! Please! No!” I screamed as the shadowy figure closed in behind me. His face was a twisted evil, an evil that was so wicked it beat Hitler or Osama bin Laden by far. I was being chased by this ‘thing’ down a dark narrow hallway. There were no doors, no windows, only frames with paintings lining down the hall. The paintings contained graphics so horrible, that if I could describe them I don’t think I’d tell another soul. I screamed bloody murder as I sped on, though I wasn’t sure how I came to be running from what appeared to be pure evil, or what brought me to the place I was in, or what I was in. In fact, the only thing I appeared to know was that I had to keep running; otherwise something terrible would happen to me. The whole scene was a tented red, and you could sense darkness a mile away. I continued running, completely oblivious to anything else around me. Then suddenly the whole world seemed to slip above me. I was in absolute blackness. You couldn’t see a hand one inch from your face! I was still running, no, falling. I was falling now into what seemed to be and endless pit. I was falling towards my end, towards my death. -Beep beep beep beep- I bolted up right with a start. My heart was pounding so hard you could almost hear it. My wavy, dark brown hair fell down my shoulder in a tangled mess. I often had nightmares like this, but never had they been so intense. “Colby! Colby Regina Drakes, are you out of bed? You have school today!” “I’m out Mom...” I grumbled as I slowly made my way out of my bed. I hated to be called my full name. I liked Colby, and that was it. Mom knew it too; I think she calls me that on purpose. Just to make me mad, my mom and I don’t get along very well. No, not since Dad died. There’s always been this tension between us. Ever since he died, everything changed for us. We had to leave our huge house and come to this old, crummy apartment. Mom is tired of working all the time, she keeps up a double shift two nights a week just to stay on top of the bills. Apparently, Dad took up gambling, and lost all our money that way. After that, Mom and Dad were constantly fighting. Then one night he just left. We never heard from him, or of him. Not until that newspaper article, it stated that Mr. Joe Drakes had spent a late night at the casino. He got in the car, too drunk to notice anything, and had run off the road into a ditch. By the time police found him, there was absolutely no hope in saving him. I pulled off my pajamas and hopped in the shower. I was so lost in thought I hadn’t realized I had shampooed my hair three times. I stepped onto the bathroom rug and scrunched my hair, the bright red tips of my otherwise brown hair were beginning to fade. I threw on my black, plaid, skinnies, and a red shirt, and pulled a black wristband on my wrist to cover the cut marks. My average height kept me from standing out, that is until I got into high school. I had been asked out time and time again, and invited to parties at least each month. I turned down every offer. Not wanting to do anything but sit in my room and play the guitar. It was my only salvation. The only thing I ever wanted to do was write a song or play my guitar. Most music I couldn’t stand. All those flashy singers who have it all, but sing about what they don’t have. Rap was so annoying, and who could anyone stand screamo? Classical was out too. I stole a look at my clock. 7:50. I was running late. Hastily, I applied eyeliner to my dark, almost black eyes. Grabbing my homework and stuffing it in backpack, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of toast. I lived a block away from school, so I walked each morning. Or, usually I walked, this morning I was running late so I had to hurry. I couldn’t afford another detention, Mom would be so furious! She’d hit me again, I’m sure. I’m a junior in high school, only 17. I couldn’t wait to turn 18, freedom! My red converses were thumping along with every step I took, my heart thumped wildly. I had to make it one time! I pulled out my cell phone, if it could be called that, and checked the time. I had three minutes. I slid through the school doors and into my class room with five seconds to spare. I had made it. Algebra was first, and my least favorite subject. Not because I was horrible at it, actually, I was doing ok. It had more to do with who I was assigned to sit by. “Psst! Colby!” was the hoarse whisper that came from Veronica, almost immediately after I sat down. Veronica is the most annoying girl I have ever met. She’s high-class and preppy, but seems to think we are “best friends”. Her curly blonde locks were always perfectly positioned. She had these flashing, glitter-covered, hot pink sunglasses she always wore on her head, even if it was raining. She wore her skimpy little skirts and shirts that showed WAY more skin then needed. And Veronica alw And Veronica always had tons of shimmery make-up on. Guys were always drooling over her like she hypnotized them; I don’t see what anyone sees in her. “Colby!” she nearly yelled again. I sighed, “What Veronica?” “You’re coming to my birthday party tonight, right?” I had forgotten about her party, and no way did I want to go! “Uh, don’t think I can make it,” I said, and mumbled some excuse. “Hmph, see if I ever invite you to a party again!” that’s what Veronica huffed every year, and every year she kept inviting me. I don’t think this girl can take a hint. There are very few people in the school I hang out with. Sara has been my closest friend since preschool. We’re extremely tight. Her shoulder length black hair is also tipped red, (we did that together in 9th grade). Her typical outfit is black pants and a ‘My Chemical Romance’ T. She loved to act, and be on stage, she loved the thrill of it. Nick and I have been friends since grade school. His shaggy black hair always seeme perfect to me, his gorgeous hazel eyes always popped out. He was the best on the track team, and his tall body didn’t hurt. I’ve liked him since I first laid eyes on him. But Nicole Glory, his girlfriend, hates me and won’t let me come near him, ever. We talk a bunch when she’s not around, every night on the phone, on the computer. You name it. He was there for me the time Dad took off. And every time Mom beats me I call him up, and he stays on the phone and soothes me until I stop crying. -ring- I had made it half way through school. It was lunch time. I walked into the cafeteria. Tuna salad, ick. After going through the line I looked around to find Sara, she’s usually who I sit with. I finally found her, she had already obtained her lunch and was sitting down...right by Steven Drumond, the captain of the football team, and also the cockiest guy in school. Wait, correction, not sitting by, drooling over. “Not only that, but she was wearing a mini skirt and a shirt that must have been 2 sizes to small. It was disgusting. I walked up to her anyways, because I wanted sit by someone, but she didn’t even notice my existence. Finally I sauntered around and tapped her on the shoulder. “Oh! Colby...I didn’t notice you,” Sara looked very startled, and slightly embarrassed. “Tell me something new...” I mumbled. “What?” she asked “Never mind, so, is there a spot here?” I tried to be subtle. “Um,” she began, and everyone at the table shifted as if to make sure there wasn’t any room for me. “It doesn’t look like it,” “Uhuh, then I guess I’ll go sit somewhere else,” I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe it. “Ok,” I told myself, “it’s just lunch...” No! It’s not just lunch! The skirt, the shirt...it’s not like her. We used to pretend to gag when people who dressed like that passed by. But that’s not what bummed me the most. The person I had been closest too, just dumped me for a stupid guy that had 3 girlfriends all ready, and that hurt. “Colby! Colby, over here!” It was Nick. “Hey! Where’s your witch of a girlfriend?” was my reply. “Nicole? Oh, she’s playing hooky today, something about a sale at the mall,” He exclaimed, but what I was really thrilled to hear was what came next, “but it doesn’t even matter anymore Colby, I dumped her.” “Really?” I shrugged, but inside I was screaming I was so happy! “Yeah! After a few days with her, I realized she was a stupid prep and didn’t give a dang about me.” he began, “but I was too chicken to call it quits so soon. Then one day I found her making out with Steven Drummond -him again- and it was over.” “Wow. I told you she was a jerk.” “So do you have a place to sit?” he asked. “Where’s Sara?” “There ‘wasn’t enough room’ for me at her table,” I stated boringly, “she was sitting with Steven.” “Ouch,” he looked disgusted, and I could detect a hint of sadness in his eyes. “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come to church with me Sunday?” The only thing bad about Nick is that he was a Christian. They went to church every Sunday morning to go worship their god or something like that. And Nick had been trying to get me to come. “Oh, I dunno...” I began, but Nick looked hurt as soon as I uttered the words. I could tell he was trying to hide it, but I knew him better than that. “I think I’m free that morning.” I stated, but I wasn’t so sure about it. “Great!” He exclaimed, “I’ll pick you up around nine.” By then we had finished lunch, and it was time to go to our next classes. I slid my key in the door and heard the familiar ‘click’ of the lock. The lights were off in the house, Mom’s not home. I walked through my house towards my room, I smelled cigarette smoke. “Mom doesn’t smoke, she must have had one of her boyfriends over,” I thought. I went into my room and flipped open my laptop. I signed into my Instant Messenger, Sara was on. “Hey,” I started, “what was up during school today?” “What?” was the reply. “u barely talked 2 me at all today, and when u did, it didn’t really count as talking.” “Oh, well, can u blame me? I mean, I’m finally noticed n school! u know we were both nothing n school, but some of the girls bought me like, the outfits and stuff, then Steven asked me 2 sit with him, and like, now I’m popular!” she sounded excited. I was so startled, I didn’t think it was this bad. “So, that’s all I am to u now? Nothing? u ditched me to be ‘popular’, and for a guy who has three girlfriends?” I replied. “Well...” “C’mon, we both know there was enough room for me at the table. You just didn’t want me there.” I was getting really mad, but suddenly I felt hurt. Like a deep hurt, one I’d never felt before, and there’s not many kinds of hurt I haven’t felt. “ ’k, so maybe there was enough room for u, but would you really would have been happy n that group? Oh and, I’m gonna have 2 go soon. Steven’s coming over tonight.” “I would have been happy knowing I was accepted by you, no matter how different I am from those other ‘friends’”. “Hey, I’m who I wanna be, and maybe I wanna be a prep! And maybe, in our screwed up school, preps can’t talk to girls who cut themselves and can’t afford to buy normal clothes!” “You aren’t being a person! You’re being a clone, just the same as them. That’s not being an individual.” No reply. “So you’re ditching me because I don’t wear the newest designer jeans? Or because if you’re “friends” caught you talking with me they’d kick you out of your little ‘popular clique’” “YES, ok? You were a great friend, but I can’t be caught dead talking to you! Otherwise I’m out!” “’were’? So you are totally killing this relationship?” I was in tears, but I had to keep my ‘tough appearance’ online.  more

Resolved Question: How's the start of my story? Is it over-detailed?

It don't have a clear idea of where I'm going with this I just know its going to be a romance. Here's part of the first chapter of my story. I need an opinion? I feel as if its too detailed. I'm 14 (almost 15) BTW. It was a windy and gloomy Saturday afternoon. I was caught inside wiping down the unused counters. It was such a monotonous job, but it paid well enough for me to save up for a used car sold downtown. Crumbs and specs of food clung onto the surface of the tables. It was disgusting since I detested cleaning up food, actually, I despised cleaning in general. I switched to the next table as I heard the store’s wind chimes jangle. I turned around to see our new customer. It was a young boy around my age, possibly one or two years older. My eyes examined him, starting from the bottom up. He had black and white checkered slip-on shoes and a pair of navy blue skinny jeans on. He also wore a large, dark grey and neon yellow sweater with a plaid design. The man was dressed in a plain black t-shirt with possibly a design in the top center. I couldn’t see since his sweater was zipped up more than half-way. He had a heart-shaped face, shapely lips, a normal-sized nose, and deep blue, far-seeing eyes that I found hard not to stare into, although, it was hard considering his chocolate-colored covered hair was mostly covering his eyes in a left, side bang direction. The moment I snapped back to reality I gave off a fake smile and walked over to greet him, “Hello, I am Kaori. May I direct you to a table, sir?” He just walked pass me and approached the bar where he planted himself on a stool. I thought to myself, “That was pretty rude of him.” I decided to avoid him for his time being here. **Sorry if the spelling, pucntion, grammar sucked. Sorry abou the spacing, his chocolate-colored covered hair **remove covered!! oh and its past not pass.  more

Resolved Question: What's your opinion on this "book"?

I'm 13, but i really like to write..and have been writing little things for a while. about 3 1/2 months ago, i started writing this "book"...i'm taking a writing class...but i'm not amazing or anything...so any advice is welcome! thanks!   “No! Please! No!” I screamed as the shadowy figure closed in behind me. His face was a twisted evil, an evil that was so wicked it beat Hitler or Osama bin Laden by far. I was being chased by this ‘thing’ down a dark narrow hallway. There were no doors, no windows, only frames with paintings lining down the hall. The paintings contained graphics so horrible, that if I could describe them I don’t think I’d tell another soul. I screamed bloody murder as I sped on, though I wasn’t sure how I came to be running from what appeared to be pure evil, or what brought me to the place I was in, or what I was in. In fact, the only thing I appeared to know was that I had to keep running; otherwise something terrible would happen to me. The whole scene was a tented red, and you could sense darkness a mile away. I continued running, completely oblivious to anything else around me. Then suddenly the whole world seemed to slip above me. I was in absolute blackness. You couldn’t see a hand one inch from your face! I was still running, no, falling. I was falling now into what seemed to be and endless pit. I was falling towards my end, towards my death. -Beep beep beep beep- I bolted up right with a start. My heart was pounding so hard you could almost hear it. My wavy, dark brown hair fell down my shoulder in a tangled mess. I often had nightmares like this, but never had they been so intense. “Delia! Delia Elizabeth, are you out of bed? You have school today!” “I’m out Mom...” I grumbled as I slowly made my way out of my bed. I hated to be called my full name. I liked Delia, and that was it. Mom knew it too, I think she called me that on purpose. Just to make me mad, my mom and I don’t get along very well. No, not since Dad died. There’s always been this tension between us. Ever since he died everything changed for us, we had to leave our huge house and come to this old, crummy apartment. Mom is tired of working all the time, she keeps up a double shift two nights a week just to stay on top of the bills. Apparently Dad took up gambling, and lost all our money that way. After that, Mom and Dad were constantly fighting. Then one night he just left. We never heard from him, or of him. Not until that newspaper article, it stated that Mr. Joe Morgan had spent a late night at the casino. He got in the car, too drunk to notice anything, and had run off the road into a ditch. By the time police found him, there was absolutely no hope in saving him. I pulled off my pajamas and hopped in the shower. I was so lost in thought I hadn’t realized I had shampooed my hair three times. I stepped onto the bathroom rug and scrunched my hair, the bright red tips of my otherwise brown hair were beginning to fade. I threw on my black, plaid, skinny pants, and a red shirt, and pulled a black wristband on my wrist to cover the cut marks. My average height kept me from standing out, that is until I got into high school. I had been asked out time and time again, and invited to parties at least each month. I turned down every offer. Not wanting to do anything but sit in my room and play the guitar. It was my only salvation. The only thing I ever wanted to do was write a song or play my guitar. Most music I couldn’t stand. All those flashy singers who have it all, but sing about what they don’t have. Rap was so annoying, and who could stand screamo? Classical was out too. I stole a look at my clock. 7:50. I was running late. Hastily I applied eyeliner to my dark, almost black eyes. Grabbing my homework and stuffing it in backpack, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of toast. I lived a block away from school, so I walked each morning. Or, usually I walked, this morning I was running late so I had to hurry. I couldn’t afford another detention, Mom would be so furious! She’d hit me again, I’m sure. I’m a junior in high school, only 17. I couldn’t wait to turn 18, freedom! My red converses were thumping along with every step I took, my heart thumped wildly. I had to make it one time! I pulled out my cell phone, if it could be called that, and checked the time. I had three minutes. I slid through the school doors and into my class room with five seconds to spare. I had made it. Algebra was first, and my least favorite subject. Not because I was horrible at it, actually, I was pretty good at algebra. It had more to do with who I was assigned to sit by. “Psst! Delia!” was the hoarse whisper that came from Samantha, almost immediately after I sat down. Samantha is the most annoying girl I have ever met. She’s high-class and preppy, but seems to think we are “best friends”. Her curly blonde locks were always perfectly positioned, and it didn’t matter if it was raining  more

Resolved Question: Is this good Im only 13 and im not done?

Forever It was the part of the day I would rather skip. Sitting next to crazy Ben and trying to pay attention to Mr. Weber was almost impossible. I walked into 6th period and took my usual seat. Crazy Ben wasn’t there. I tried to think of the possibilities. He was attacked by a stampede of elephants. Ms. Lillian chewed him up and swallowed him because he forgot to do his homework, again. He had another one of his chilidog contests at lunch and ate himself to death. Or my favorite, his family decided to move far far far far away so he could never come back again. Instead of Crazy Ben coming Troy Cash came and sat next to me. The most popular guy was sitting next to me. “Sup.” Troy spoke in his overly romantic amazingly sweet voice. “Hey.” I said shyly. I had to bite my lip. When I get nervous I start blabbing nonsense that no one cares about. “Shut up Riley no one cares about how the sun rotates around the Earth.” I thought to myself. “So, are you good in math because Mr. Weber is always on my case and I need help. So if you ain’t good in math I’m going to go sit down back down with my girl.” Troy spoke in the same romantic voice except this time it was rude and sarcastic. “Fine I’ll help you, but I’m not giving you an A your going to work for it.” “Uh, sure.” Troy said this time with no romance all of it was a rude tone with a stupid giggle at the end. “Why do all the hot guys have to be so rude?” I thought to myself. All of a sudden a small folded up note was tossed onto my lap. It was folded messy ,and there was a small blue peace sign on the yellow lined paper. It wrote, Dear Riley, I’m in trouble. come to my house at 5:00 P.M. cant do earlier because of detention. Be there! I got us some cool new stuff. Oh yah if you were wondering why I have been freaking mad at you all day it is because I know who is sitting next to you right now. Troy Cash!!!!!!!!! My FUTURE husband, how dare you! Love you, Cassidy Cassidy has been my best friend/troublemaker sense we were two years old. She is much more optimistic than I ever will be. She has the second hottest guy in school. Andy Thomson, he is a straight A student who gets invited to all the cool parties. How does he do it? The bell finally rang. I was out of here. I packed up all my books. Now totally ready for the weekend. I ran out of the classroom. On my way out I bumped into Andy. all of my books fell to the ground. I stood there biting my lip, again. Andy picked up all of my books and started walking. I ran after him. I supposed he needed to talk to me about Cassidy. “What do you want?” I said as sweet as I could manage. Of course it is totally visible on my face that I’m fuming. “God, can’t a guy talk to his girlfriends best friend without being patronized.” He said just as “Sweet” As I. “Sorry, I’m just not in the best mood.” I retorted. I looked up at his shimmering blue eyes and had to look away. They were way to gorgeous to resist, but I had to. His blond hair lit up in the sun and his polo really gave it an edge. His jeans were stoned washed. Not to baggy, just the way I like it. His shoes were Nike but not the want-to-be-cool type. They were just white. He was my dream guy. I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t look at him. I just could not! My best friends boyfriend. What was I thinking? I was thinking I’m single and Cassidy is in love with Troy anyway. I was thinking he should be mine. All mine ,but I know he was in love with Cassidy and I couldn’t let this go anywhere. I had to think mad. I might slip ,I might not. I hope not! “It’s ok. Can we talk?” Andy asked like all innocent. “Yah. Sure.” Oh no. Think mad. Think mad. “Listen, me and Cassidy are over, I think. She hasn’t been talking to me .Could you ask her what is going on? Also, do you want to come to dinner with me and her tonight? It will make things less tense.” He said like a hurt puppy. “Uh, I will ask her and I would love to go to dinner with you guys.” I answered ,my mouth hanging almost open. “Thanks.” He hugged me real tight ,gave me my books , and ran over to Charlotte, his sister. I just stood there like an idiot until Troy grabbed my elbow and shook it. “Dude. Dude. DUDE. Wakeup. Hello?” Troy kept going on. My eyes went wide. “What time is it!” I demanded. “4:52.” He said holding my hand. “4:52. I have to go! Cassidy is gonna crucify me.” I looked at his hand. I went wide-eyed. I grabbed his hand threw it off and hugged him goodbye. I had no time for giggly flirting. I threw my book bag over my shoulder. I Unlocked my bike and rode off ,leaving Mr. Ego behind me. I was realizing I dazed nowhere for three hours and eight minutes. I had to hurry over to Cassidy’s house. Our dinner was approaching and I had to look amazing. Chapter 2 Narrow Eyes I pulled up to Cassidy‘s house, now fully aware it was 5:04 and I knew I was dead. I unlocked her garage ,threw in my bike, ran upstairs to her room , and jumped onto her bed. She was on her computer. My white albino skin curly brown hair and dark green eyes were nothing compared to her porcelain face with black sleek hair and silver intimidating eyes. She gave me the chills when she turned around with narrowed eyes. She looked disappointed. I was about to ask what is wrong when she flipped open her lip-gloss. “What color would you rather have, sparkly pink or daring gold for dinner tonight?” She asked in her mad but totally not noticeable voice. “Daring gold.” I tried to sound desirable it came out sounding pathetic. She laughed throwing me a darkish gold gloss. I twisted it open applied a dab and smeared it in. She threw me a red camisole and a plaid sweater that included red gold and black. Cassidy pitched me a pare of sun-washed skinny jeans that resembled hers in a way except mine were darker. She brushed my hair back and put it into a bun. She tossed over a pair of gold converse, black eyeliner, and a dark green eye shadow that matched my eye color. Cassidy was the one who stood out with her jeans and a rocker T-shirt. Red lipstick and black pumps. She had a big tote and her hair was scrunched. She was a rebel. Cassidy and I filled each other. I was the goody good. She was the radical one. I have never been jealous of her. She had a decent life , a single mom ,an awesome boyfriend. I had an amazing voice and both my parents are alive. “Ready to go?” She asked. “Yah , I guess” I said unwillingly. We walked to the garage got on our bikes and rode off into the setting sun. She watched as I began to smile. Her eyes still narrow. I pedaled faster and faster. I knew we were close. My grin got bigger and bigger. I started humming my favorite song, Thriller. She rolled her eyes then went back to narrow eyes. We were here , and she was stiff .I was giggly. We walked in and asked for a table for three. She seated us right away and asked what we would like to drink. I asked for a diet soda and Cassidy asked for a sprite. Finally Andy showed up. His blond hair was combed back and you could see his bleach blond streaks. He was wearing a brown button down shirt with a collar and dark denim jeans with some black Nike’s. His blue twinkling eyes were covered by his glasses but I didn’t mind he still looked irresistible to me. Cassidy shrugged and padded the chair in the middle. He took a seat. Andy kissed Cassidy on the cheek turned and hugged me. He complemented my lip gloss and complemented Cassidy’s shoes. He ordered a diet coke when the waiter came back. We all took our menu’s and studied them carefully. I was sick of the silence. “Andy ,I need to talk to you. Alone.” I shrugged He turned, kissed Cassidy on the forehead, and walked over to somewhere private with me. “Cassidy is not mad. She just wants some space.” I really meant it to. “Oh. Ok. That’s it?” He was confused “Yes that’s it.” I told him. Right this second I was on the verge of tearing my lip off. I was biting it so hard, and it started to bleed. He ran over and got paper towels. He dabbed them on my lip. He brought me to the bathroom. “Wash your lip with soap. Then come back out and we can sit and I will try to stop the bleeding. Okay? “I’m so sorry . I didn’t mean to.” I stared at him with puppy dog eyes. “Why are you sorry? You bit your lip to death? There is nothing to say sorry for . I ran in to the bathroom. I washed my lip with there lavender soap and put some lotion on my hands. I ran back out to find no one was there .I ran to the table the check was there. Paid. No friends were there. The waiter was coming by. “Excuse me miss, where did my friends go?” I asked politely. “They left you a note. Here.” The waiter spoke just as polite. I tipped her nine dollars and got myself to unravel the small piece of yellow line paper with a peace sign on front. Dear Riley, I’m sorry , I really do like you but I cant .You know I love Cass. I cant abandon her .She is my life. Don’t blame me for leaving .Cassidy pulled me out .I have your bike. I will lock it up at the school tomorrow so you can get home. Hope it helps. Xoxo, Andy Thomson Chapter 3 Home Home wasn’t were I wanted to go. There I would have to be interrogated by my father, Ted. He is big and tuff. He loves sports and it was his dream to have a boy. Ted is an overly protective Teddy bear who wouldn’t hurt a fly. My mom, Tessa is a soccer mom. She love having cool things and going shopping. She might not be able to pay attention for one minute, but sometimes she makes that a good thing. Autumn, my sister is 18, three years older than me, she practically lives at her boyfriends house. She is attending college, is 5 months pregnant, and is trying to juggle a part-time job at a local restaurant. My brother Dylan is 13. He is a weird kid .Dad was mad about that. He would rather sit inside all day playing auto theft 4 then going and throwing some balls at Fletcher park. I flopped my bike on the ground and fling my book bag into the car so I wont have to do that tomorrow morning. I unlock the door and force the key out of the hole. “Anyone home?” I shouted. There was no answer. I shrugged and went up to my room. I flopped on my bed. I opened my book and started to read the first line of page 456 when Dylan slammed his door. I figured autumn was home. Our house was decent .Two stories, and four bathrooms. We lived in the town of Silver Tree, the state of Seattle. It always rains and there hasn’t been a sunny day since January 22, 2008. Three whole months with no sun. We used to live in Little Rock, Arkansas but we had to move because of inflation. I was only one. We picked the white house that we have today. Right next to Cassidy.  more

Resolved Question: what do you think of this story so far?

Beware of those who call you “friend” Beware of those who will make your life end Beware of those who will fill you with lies Beware of those who will take the prize Beware and Remember Beware and Recall Beware and surpass what dooms us all -Solipher’s Call, 200 B.C. The only source of light that guided her path was the silvery glow of the full moon that hung in the heart of the night. Sensing that someone was chasing her, she picked up her pace. Almost there, she thought, as she ran. Suddenly, her foot slipped. Down she fell, the darkness swallowing her. Nikki Harrington woke up with a start, her head pounding. Climbing out of her worn plaid covers, she hit the wooden floor with a small thud and timidly walked to her private bathroom. Turning on the fluorescent light, her hazel eyes squinted, adjusting to the sudden brightness. Not that dream again, Nikki thought as she splashed fresh cold water onto her face....if you want to read more, comment. no mean stuff plzz. so far, thanks for the critisim! about the details, thanks. i've reread it and will change it. plus, i forget who commented it, but she's like, 14, so idk if she would want to go to her parents room...but i'll post more under **more of the story** just look for that! um, by mean stuff i meant, swearing and stuff....not mean critism! i welcome that, only if its true  more

Resolved Question: Homemade halloween costumes ideas (look or else) muhaha!?

Comments are fine , but if you have nothing nice to say like em your better off putting a flower pot on ur head please don't say it .. am not looking for ideas but you can post them for other people! ~.~ No..... am not THAT old.. lolm i just noticed how alot of people need halloween ideas , and they don't have the money . So one weekend ( i was in school so one weekend ) i just did this for fun!  more

Resolved Question: Is this a good book?

I'm currently writing this book. Is this good? The hallway buzzed with noise as Mabel tried to squish through the crowd. “ Oh my gosh! Isn’t this cool?!”, Noah grabbed Mabel’s shoulders and screamed. Noah cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s the first day of middle school and…” She stopped and stared at the group of football players as if they were rock stars. Mabel stared at the group. Noah pulled out her vanilla Lip Smacker and smiled. “Look, there’s Robert!”, she said smacking her glossy lips and smiling. Mabel sighed. Robert has been her only crush since second grade and during the summer, she promised herself that this year, in seventh grade, she would make him hers. She just wondered why he never hung out with her or even said a word to her. Is it because she wasn’t pretty enough? Or was it because he didn’t like girls who stuck their noses in books and paid attention in class like Mabel. As a straight-A student, she only cared about education. If she got a C or lower, he he hallway buzzed with noise as Mabel tried to squish through the crowd. “ Oh my gosh! Isn’t this cool?!”, Noah grabbed Mabel’s shoulders and screamed. Noah cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s the first day of middle school and…” She stopped and stared at the group of football players as if they were rock stars. Mabel stared at the group. Noah pulled out her vanilla Lip Smacker and smiled. “Look, there’s Robert!”, she said smacking her glossy lips and smiling. Mabel sighed. Robert has been her only crush since second grade and during the summer, she promised herself that this year, in seventh grade, she would make him hers. She just wondered why he never hung out with her or even said a word to her. Is it because she wasn’t pretty enough? Or was it because he didn’t like girls who stuck their noses in books and paid attention in class like Mabel. As a straight-A student, she only cared about education. If she got a C or lower, her mom would start a long conversation about “if you don’t have the grades, Mabel, you may never get into Harvard. You need to take education seriously. Now go study and promise me a better test next time.” Mabel would nod her head and run off to her room. Mabel knew it was because of that. Noah, Mabel’s best friend since kindergarten, was cool and never shy. In be fact, Mabel would be totally jealous of her because on top of being a straight-B student, she was cute, friendly, funny, and had adorable style. Hmm…what if Robert likes Noah? Mable wondered to herself. She was stunned. “Noah, do you think that I’m…you know, geeky?” Noah looked down at the floor. “Um…well, you’re not that geeky, you’re just…” Mabel interrupted, “Nerdy?” Noah nearly yelled out “Yes!” Mabel stared her. She was right. The two headed to the girls bathroom. “Are you sad?” asked Noah as she applied mascara and pink eye shadow. Mabel finished tying her shoes and let out a calm “No.” Noah smiled and said, “Perfect! My make up is so perfect. No smudges, no colors getting mixed up!” Mabel giggled, “Your pink eye shadow doesn’t match your dark red lips”. Noah grinned and started to sing “Ain’t no other man”. “You look and sing just like a miniature Christina Aguilera!” Mabel said while putting on nail polish. There was no one else in the bathroom and they felt relaxed. Rrrrring! “Oh my gosh! We’re gonna be late!” Noah struggled to pack up her cosmetics in her purple pouch. “Wait!”, screamed Noah, “my lips got smudged!” Mabel sighed. Why was it that Mabel only needed nail polish to feel beautiful while Noah needed the whole enchilada? Noah finally found a light shade of lavender and wiped it all over her lips. She put on a coat of her signature vanilla Lip Smacker. They rushed out of the bathroom and into the classroom. The teacher stared at them. He was a bald man with round, black glasses and he had on a button-down shirt, a tie with prancing elves, and tuxedo pants. “You girls got lucky. Class starts in one more minute but everyone else came early. Guess they’re all excited about stepping up and becoming seventh graders.” They took the seats in the front next to each other. A couple seconds later, the teacher announced “Five, four, three…” Amber, Raquel, Ashley, and Anna rushed in right when he was going to say “two”. Mabel and Noah looked at each other and mouthed the words “popular girls”. This group is even worse than all the bullies. These girls were so preppy and girly and Amber was the head of them. It was her who said what do and what not to do and everyone else in her crew did exactly what she said and she treated them like servants. They even wore matching clothes and today, it was plaid Bermuda shorts, sparkly tank tops, and ballet flats. The group took the seats right next to Robert. Amber worked up her charm and flirted with Robert. Mabel grunted and played around with the key chain in the pocket of her hoodie. “No more being a nerd,” she whispered to herself. Apparently, Noah heard and winked. She then whispered, “Good idea, Mabel!” The teacher cleared his voice and in a soft therapist voice said, “Hello students. My name is Mr. Smith and I’m going to be your history teacher.” Everyone stared at him as if he was speaking another language. As always, Mabel knew that Mr. Smith would be a great teacher. Mr. Smith pulled out a box of textbooks and passed them out. “Everyone, please to turn to page 6. Please silently read this section on ancient Egypt.” Everyone got right to work and started reading while Mr. Smith sat down at his desk. He jotted down things on a notebook. Half an hour later, when everyone was finished reading, he passed out slips of paper to everyone. “Please put your slip into the hat on my desk”, he pointed to his desk “we will be starting our ancient Egypt projects and now we are picking partners.” Mabel’s heart started pounding. The only way that Robert could notice me is if I worked with him on a project, she thought. “The first pair is Rachel and Chris.” Mable was shocked. Who knew Rachel, the sophisticated wannabe-lawyer would wound up with the kid who did arm farts in front of the teacher? “The next pair is Noah and Robert.” Mabel almost cried. How could this be? But then she calmed down. What if she used Noah to ask Robert some questions about what kind of girl he was into? Hmmm…maybe Noah was more useful than giving bad makeovers. Mr. Smith glanced up at the clock. “Whoops! Time is running out! I better assign partners and fast!”, he said in a cartoon voice. “Harold and Mabel. Thomas and Amber. Tiffany and Raquel. Anna and Mohammed. Ashley and David.” Mabel felt like dying. How could she possibly be stuck with Harold, the boy who picks his nose and eats a plain sandwich with a massive dallop of mayonnaise and a pickle or two to top it off. Mabel never forgot the time when he shoved one of his icky sandwiches up her throat. She barfed and had to go home early. After history class, Mabel went to the bathroom while Noah went to ask Mr. Smith some questions about the project. Mabel was upset that Noah got to be Robert’s partner. Noah barged into the girl’s bathroom. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” groaned Noah. Mabel just applied some lip-gloss and looked the other way. Noah frowned. Mabel then smacked her lips and blew her nails. “Mabel, you can’t give me the silent treatment forever. Now, tell me why you’re so mad.” Mabel cleared her throat, “Why do you get to be Robert’s partner and I don’t?” Noah looked at Mabel as if she was stupid. “Mabel, the whole partner-picking thing was random, so I didn’t get to choose.” Mabel rolled her yes, “So what? I’m still mad.” Noah started to get angry and shouted, “Its not my fault!” Mabel stared at her. Mabel had never seen Noah erupt before. She must have really pressed Noah’s buttons, but she didn’t care, or at least pretended not to care. Mabel finally got the message: Noah might actually like Robert. “Wait a minute,” said Mabel “you like Robert.” Noah was silent. “Do you like Robert?” Mabel demanded. Noah nodded her head. Mabel started crying. Noah approached Mabel and hugged her. Noah whispered, “Are we still friends?” Mabel wiped her tears and said, “I don’t know.” Mabel left the bathroom, slamming the door, and went off to English class. Luckily, Mabel didn’t have English class with Noah so she would have to deal with Noah passing notes asking, “Are we still friends?” Mabel knew this because this happened last year. English class was pretty quiet without Noah yelling out answers and whispering jokes about Mrs. Renoldi. Mrs. Renoldi was an old-fashioned lady who probably still believed it was the 1900’s. In a turtleneck sweater, shiny silver pants, loafers, poofy hair, a red and green headband, and novelty earrings, she was the nerdiest teacher in the whole school. After English class, Mabel went over to get her science book from her locker to study at lunch. Noah had slipped a note into Mabel’s locker: Dear Mabel, I’m really sorry. Please forgive me. I mean, it’s not my fault that I have a crush on Robert. Besides, its not like I’m going to flirt with him or something. -Noah Mabel carefully studied the note. Wow…Noah even used the blue gel pen I gave her last year , thought Mabel. She did feel bad about being mad at Noah for no reason. She wanted to forgive her, but she wasn’t sure yet. She pulled out her science book and her wrinkled up paper bag and headed over to the cafeteria. Lunch just wasn’t the same without Noah. Mabel had a peanut butter sandwich, homemade brownies, orange juice, and an apple. She glumly ate lunch. She wondered where Noah was sitting. She glanced through the whole cafeteria until finally she spotted Noah. Mabel gasped and choked on a chunk of the apple. There was Noah sitting with Amber, Ashley, Raquel, and Anna laughing it up right in front of Mabel. Mabel felt gullible to even want to forgive Noah. Noah was trying to make Mabel jealous and it worked. Mabel thought of a plan to embarrass Noah for life. The next day, Mabel completely ignored Noah and Noah ignored her back. Mabel was lonely while Noah flaunted herself with the “popular girls”. During history class, Mabel watched as Noah smiled and blushed right in front of Robert. That’s when Mabel realized that he really did like Noah. “Want to eat lunch with me?” he said to Noah. The whole class gasped. The star of the football team and the preppy, happy girl…eating lunch…together? Mabel watched as Noah and Robert giggled at lunch. They seemed as though they’ve known each other forever. Mabel couldn’t stand it. She walked over to where Noah was sitting and dumped milk all over her head. Noah screamed. Noah went running like a dog with a tail on fire. And Robert frowned. “What the heck, you geek?!” he shouted. Mabel stared at him, feeling the tears slipping out of her eyes. A geek? Great, now I know he thinks I’m a geek, she thought. Mabel took her wrinkled up paper bag with an apple core and half of the sandwich and walked out of the cafeteria. She went to her locker and stared at herself in the mirror of her locker. She checked herself. What was so geeky about her? Moments later, she realized what was nerdy. Square black glasses that were so big that they took up half of her face. A piggy nose. Red and blue braces. A button down cotton shirt. Plaid trousers. Socks up to the knee. Maybe if she stretched them, they’d cover her whole leg. And red low top Converse. She felt the word in her mind. That word. Geek. Its time to stop being a geek once and for all, she thought. Chapter 2 Mabel looked at herself in the mirror in the morning and smiled. “No more being a geek!” she screamed in delight. As she walked through the hallway at school, she finally knew that being a geek was over for her. “Ooh hot!” screeched the boys. And that one sound that made it feel worth it. Gasp. Gasp. Mabel was wearing a red tube top with the word “baby” written in fold foil. She wore an incredibly mini mini-skirt. She had strappy red sandals and she dyed her hair cherry chocolate with red and black streaks. She wore a chain necklace, earrings, and a tattoo. She went to class. History class, she sighed. Mr. Smith looked at her. The teacher’s pet has gone wrong. “Um, Mabel, would you like to read page 12, paragraph 2?” Mabel stared at him. Look, I’m not a kiss-up teacher’s pet girl anymore. I’m a hot, bad girl, she thought. “No.” she said in a snobby tone. She knew how to do this voice perfectly because the popular crew practically created that voice. Mr. Smith looked at her. “Please read the paragraph, Mabel.” Mabel then said, in a snobbier tone, “No.” Mr. Smith turned red. “READ THE PARAGRAPH!” he screamed. “No.” Mabel said like she was tring to be annoying. Mr. Smith then said, “Mabel read the paragraph or else.” Mabel stood up and walked toward him, “Are you threatening me?” she screamed. “Get your backpack and head to the principal’s office. You’re in big trouble, ma’am!” The class roared with “Ooooh!” and “Uh oh!” And what Mabel was waiting for. Gasp. Gasp. “So, why didn’t you read the paragraph?” asked the principal. Mrs. Harper was sitting at her desk in a light blue business suit, high heels to match, and a messy bun. Mabel stared at her wrinkles. Um…there’s something called Botox, thought Mabel. “I’m waiting to know.” The principal added. The office was so depressing. The desk Mrs. Harper was sitting at was flowing with tattered papers. Pens and pencils were all over the floor. Mabel was sitting on a little pink stool. There was a countertop with coffee mugs and file folders. The carpet looked as though there was a wild party in there. Gum on the floor. “Mabel, are you going to talk or not,” asked the principal. Mabel sighed. “I just didn’t feel like reading.” Mabel put on her puppy dog hoodie. If Mrs. Harper saw Mabel with a tube top, the trouble she was already was in would be doubled. “Tube tops aren’t allowed”, Mrs. Harper would say over and over again. Mrs. Harper rose her eyebrows, “So, why didn’t you feel like reading.” Mabel decided to lie. It was the only way to get out of all this trouble. “Well, I didn’t feel like reading because I was in a bad mood. I felt like crying.” Mrs. Harper suddenly switched from principal mode to therapist mode. “Oh, dear! What happened, Mabel?” Mabel replied as glumly as she can, “Well, I like Robert and now Robert likes Noah and I want him to like me.” Mabel then stated crying for real. By trying to lie, she ended up telling the truth. Mrs. Harper nodded her head, “It’ll be okay, dear. Boys are mysterious people, really they are. Don’t cry please.” Mabel cried and cried. Mrs. Harper reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a mango-flavored lollypop. Mabel took it even though strawberry-flavored lollypops were her favorite. She wiped her tears and left the office. She went to bathroom to wash her face. Noah walked into the bathroom too. “So, what happened in the office?” asked Noah. Mabel replied, “Nothing. I didn’t get in trouble.” Noah smiled. “That’s good,” Noah giggled. “The whole class was talking about it while we were supposed to be working on our Egypt projects. Everyone thought you got suspended or something.” Noah added. Mabel sighed. She really did miss Noah. Mabel asked, “So, how is it going with Robert?’ Noah shook her head. “All he ever talks about is Amber. I found out he’s using me to get to Amber. So I dumped him during history class.” Mabel felt so bad. “How could we have let one boy ruin our friendship?” Mabel asked sadly. “I missed you so much. There was no one to dip Oreos into chocolate milk with while watching cartoons, no one to play soccer with, no one to watch movies with, no one to bake cookies with, no one to play “hair salon” with. No one to do anything with. Please, please, please, please be my best friend again.” Noah cried. Noah was sobbing. Mabel yelled happily, “Of course I’ll be your friend again!” They hugged and cried. “Everyone was talking about your geek to chic makeover today,” Noah said. Mabel smiled, “My days as Geek Girl are over!” Noah then added, “The football team was even talking about how hot you looked. And Robert!” Mabel leaped with excitement. She ran over to Robert. “Hey, Robert!” she said in that total flirt tone. Robert looked at her. “You look really hot.!” Mabel giggled. “Wanna go out to the movies this Friday night?” she asked. Robery smiled, “Yeah, sure.” Friday came and Mabel was throwing clothes out of her closet. Her room was a little small. Her bed, with her pink and lime green bedding, was in the middle, magazines with cut out pictures of celebrities were all over the carpet, and one pink dresser and a desk with a laptop. Her closet was small, which is why most of her clothes were all over the floor. Where is that pink tube top? she wondered. She found her tube top under her bed and pulled it on. She grabbed her high heels and skinny jeans. She put glittery pink eye shadow and sparkly pink lipstick. She headed over to the theatre and walked up to Robert, who waiting inside near the snack area. “Want popcorn?” asked Robert. Mabel blushed as pink as her lipstick and said, “Yes, please” in her most innocent little girl voice. She has used this voice to get herself out of trouble with her mom. He paid for popcorn and purchased a drink and escorted Mabel to a seat way in the back. Robert sat down and put the popcorn in Mabel’s lap. Mabel smiled weakly. This was her first date ever and she felt so awkward. The movie started and Robert smiled at her. She wasn’t interested in watching ‘Superman strikes again’, but she pretended to be completely interested in it. She sighed and daydreamed about getting married to Robert. She smiled and dozed off. Before she knew it, the dream became beautiful the more she imagined. “Mabel”, Robert said while shaking her. He cleared his throat, “Wake up, Mabel!” Mabel woke up, still sleepy. “What happened?” she asked, feeling drowsy. Robert frowned. “You missed the whole movie because you fell asleep”, he replied. Mabel widened her eyes. What a jerk I am. The one and only hottie who I loved for so long finally went on a date with me and I fell asleep. Poor guy paid for tickets and snacks and I wasted it all and fell asleep. Fell asleep, she thought. “I’m sorry.” Mabel said. Robert got up and said, “Come on, lets go.” Mabel sighed. The one and only boy she really loved is going to dump her after one date. Just one date! No, she was not going to let him dump her. They went outside and sat at the bench. Robert was waiting for a taxi to pick them up. Mabel grabbed his arm, “Are you still mad at me?! All I did was fall asleep during the movie! You can’t blame me for being a bit tired. You’re not the one who has to study, play the violin, play the piano, go to soccer practices every day, and still have time to do homework! And then I still have chores and you in my life! So, why are you mad if you can’t understand what I go through every freaking day of my life!” Mabel had yelled this out so loud that everyone waiting for the bus and exiting and entering the theatre could hear. She sounded like a crazy woman who wanted to break up with her husband. Robert stood there, embarrassed as everyone stared at Mabel and Robert. Robert just glared at her and looked down. “I wasn’t mad at you, just a little annoyed. That’s all. But you had to embarrass me in front of all these people.” Mabel shrugged. “I’m really, really sorry, Robert. Please forgive me.” Mable said. Robert hugged her and replied, “Just don’t let it happen again.” They let go and Mabel quietly sad, “Ok.” Noah called Mabel two hours after she got back from the date with Robert. Noah seemed pretty excited. “So, how did the date go with Robert?” Mabel sighed, “I fell asleep during the movie and he seemed pretty upset and I yelled at him in public like a mad woman with no therapist who wanted to divorce her husband and live alone in a mountaintop in Oregon or something.” Noah giggled, “Don’t tell me you brought up the fact that you practice piano and stuff. And why Oregon? I heard that Wisconsin has pretty nice mountaintops perfect for mad women with no therapist who want to divorce their husband.” Mabel laughed, “This is probably the last time me and Robert will ever go out on a date.”  more

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